It's been a really long time!

Too long since I blogged...hopefully I will find some time soon. Gavin has the best one-liners that I have been wanting to document but just don't long on to blogger as much. Soon, readers (if there are any left! LOL) soon...

Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey! And of course other deep thoughts with Fran, lol!

I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.”

“I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.”

“The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?”

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?”

“When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.”

“Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.”

“To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, Hey, can you give me a hand? You can say, Sorry, got these sacks

“Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.”

“If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you

“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late

{OMG!!!!!}Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done!"

"You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea"

Oh dear, all of these make me laugh so hard..I LOVE Jack Handey...I love the randomness of it and the ridiculousness of his humour. I've been trying to laugh more because I truly feel that laughter is God's gift to heal our grieving. It's not the only gift, of course, but the more you laugh, that deep, hearty, feel good, can hardly contain yourself laugh can do nothing for you but add life and positivity to a life.
We have several friends who are separating, divorcing. and are completely unhappy; I don't know all the back ground but there did seem to be a point where having "fun" couple time vanished for them. Marriage is the foundation of the family. God comes first, then Husband and Wife and then the children. I think its very important for children to know that mommy and daddy have their time to connect when they get home from work before they enter the picture. (put on a movie, start a game, coloring book, whatever! Just so that y'all can catch up!)
after that, have as much family time as you want! Blake and I try to spend about 20 minutes just snuggling no matter whats on the stove or what needs to be done; that is OUR time. Does it happen every night? Of course not! But that's what we strive for.
Back to our friends, all we can do is support them, be there when they need to talk, be there when they need to hang, baby sit when we can so they can work through issues. But, we have to have our boundaries where we are supporting but not enabling.
I'm coming up on the one year anniversary of my g-ma's death. This past weekend last year was the last time I talked to her. I should've listened to my instinct and gone down there immediately after her surgery. For all purposes, things were looking well after surgery, and then all of a sudden it went down hill. I had plans to leave on Tuesday morning and she passed on Tuesday afternoon. Grief is not something you "get over" it's something you go through. I've had so many people be there for me, and some people try to "relate" to what I've gone through. There really is no relating. Someone can't relate to losing 3 close family members in a year and a half, a job loss, selling your home at a significant financial loss, grieving for the loss of my home (even though I still hate those plumbing problems!!) moving in with an inlaw, grieving for my husband's mother, grieving for my g-ma who was the mother figure in my life, grieving for the loss of my parent's house, and coping with the loss of my father in law while he grieves for his wife. There is no relating. There is sympathy, but no relating to any of that.
I've had numerous conversations and in depth discussions with my mentor about sympathy, empathy, self absorption, moving on, forgiveness, and the grace of Jesus. Life is hard. This is THE hardest time of our life. No doubt about it. We'll always have the Rock of Ages to lean on, the prayer too, to cover us with mercy and forgiveness and to guide us through these times. 20 years from now we'll know that we've clung to our family, to our God, to our friends, our church family and to do the things that bring us calm.

I'll be heading to Dallas for a wedding I am assisting/coordinating with, and then jetting off to Cabo San Lucas! I'll be gone about 9 days. I'm super excited, especially since I've been working 50-55 hours a week, and that's just for granola!! Not that I'm complaining, because I'm paying my dues to grow this business. I'm just exhausted taking care of the house, the business, our friends and everything else that life entails! Y'all know what I'm talking about!

Until next time, God Bless, and please pray for for whatever moves you in our situation!

Pictures

Shelling pecans! my two helpers...love it


Owen and Gav...best little buds

Kids like granola!



Gavin's first haircut!




Hanging out with cousins!




Road trip to Tulsa..poor Meg was squished between the boys, ha!




The company car

LOVE the new look!!





It's a family biz!



Turpentine Creek...oh, how that was a disaster..no nap for Gavin, lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Good thing his arm didn't get bitten off here...wow...

This cat was staring Gavin down!!!!


It's a Liger. This thing was HUGE!

BABY!!!! and other updates

SO...did this title get you intrigued?

No worries, it's not what you think :)

It's Gavin's name. He refuses to be called Gavin, only Baby. I'll say, Gavin!! and he says, No, I baby! He'll point to me and call me mommy, point to Blake and call him Daddy (although it sounds like Dah-ee) and he'll point to himself and say, baby. We'll say, noooo you're Gavin. And then he says, Noooo I baby!!

HA! It's hilarious...cracks me up every time.

Another thing we are teaching him is to pronounce words correctly. This is something he'll have to do in everyday life y'know. Instead of him saying lights, with an L, he says "ights." Unfortunately it comes out sounding like Ass. HA! We can't have him doing that in kindergarten! One day the light went out in the bathroom and he says to Blake, "no ass daddy, no ass!" LOL Talk about laughing so hard you start crying....

Gavin's vocabulary is crazy big. Even though he can't pronounce everything, he KNOWS what everything is. It amazes me how smart the little guy is!

He seems to be having a hard time adjusting to our move. The other day he started crying when we pulled up to Mike's house and he said, "No pawpaw's house, mommy's house! mommy's house!!" If I'm driving on the highway heading north and get off to head to Fayetteville, he cries and points the other direction saying "mommy's house, mommy's house!" We drove by our old house the other day(thank you God that we sold that place!!!!) and it made him cry. He kept saying, "mommy's house" when we drove past it. So, that's kind of hard on us, seeing him have a difficult time. I told him we lived at pawpaw's house right now, but we would be getting a new house soon.

Speaking of new, I got a car! The blue bullet needed to be retired. I just spent a bunch of money doing the 205K mile maintenance and decided not to put any more money into it. We have been researching, for about a year, the best car to fit our needs: reliable, warranty, good gas mileage, safe, etc.. and we decided on the 2012 Hyundai Sonata. Actually, when I got to the lot they had just gotten in a used 2012--so I said, why get the 2011 when I can get the 2012!
LOVE my new car!! I worked my booty off for my old car, and now I'm working like crazy for this one! It's the company car. I'm really glad we kept the old one for 10 years and now we'll keep this one--probably for when Gavin starts driving!

Florida was a blast. We had such a good time at the beach! Gavin loved the water and the sand..ooohh, it was perfect! Clear blue water, white powder sand...83 degrees out. Not too hot, perfect water temp...we had a picnic on the beach for dinner one night, ate the best fresh crab for lunch one day, drank the BEST coffee I have EVER had...I can't wait to go back.

Granola is going so great...I am so happy with my business! It can get overwhelming at times because I feel like it's growing so fast that I can't keep up--which is a good problem to have, I know! I'm very excited about it, passionate about working for myself, love interacting with people at the Farmer's Market, being creative with it all...it's so much fun and I feel extremely blessed to be able to do this, share my faith through my business and to see the sun rise every Saturday morning...yesterday's market was particularly beautiful. The fog was rolling in from the south, so the hills were barely visible as the sun was shining through. The air was crisp (35 degrees!) and smelled so fresh and clean.

Life has thrown us punches, but guess what? We're overcoming! And that is a great feeling. It doesn't mean that things are better, or worse, but that we're learning. Learning how to be content, learning patience, mercy, grace and forgiveness. Learning lessons that we wouldn't have learned if we hadn't been through it: Learning about people, learning about ourselves, and creating relationships. Which is what life is about: If you aren't learning, you aren't growing, right?! There is so much to do in the world, so many activities in life to explore, so many places to explore, the sky is the limit, and the only thing holding you (me!) back is the limitations we impose on ourselves. How's that for a motivational talk!

Experiencing loss and grief is an incredible thing. It teaches those who are left what's really, truly important in life. As cliche as that sounds, I have gained knowledge in the past 2 years that I am grateful for even though it has hurt so much. Not a day goes by that I don't miss my G-ma or Carol. Can't even put it into words.

Pictures next time!!

I've got time.....

Gavin's with the grandparents and Blake and I are laying around watching TV at someone else's house. It has been OVER a month since I have laid on the couch with absolutely nothing to do. Nothing to unpack, nothing to clean, cook, nowhere to go, no phone calls to return, no house stuff going on. And wow, it feels great! Sorry Gavin, mama loves you, but it is so nice to have a break! You'll understand when you have a kiddo of your own, ha!

This weekend Blake and I have been able to reconnect. We haven't had time together in so long. We have had a couple date nights, but with the craziness of the past 3 months, they weren't relaxing dates. So, this weekend has been about US! Yesterday, we even both had time to ourselves. He went fishing and running, I went for a long walk and watched trashy reality TV. Today we went to church (I actually got to listen to the message instead of baby wrangling!), had lunch together, hiked 6 miles and had dinner together. I don't want the weekend to end!! We are ready for a week long vacation with just the 2 of us. It will have to be this summer because of the hospital move, but we definitely need a week of just us. When we go as long as we have without some serious quality time together, the relationship starts to wear down. Marriage requires maintenance! Quality time for us is key is keeping things running smoothly and happily.


Quality family time important for us too. "Our little family of three" requires maintenance--just like any other relationship. We need time where we can just play. No expectations on us, just to have fun. We try each day to have time like this. It's usually our time at the park, on our walk, and at bedtime. At bedtime we read Gavin's favorite stories, he reads to us, we all snuggle together, pray together and sleep together. Gavin then sings us all to bed--while I tell him to hush, shhh, GAVIN! It's time for bed!!


Lately, we've been wondering if and when we'll be expanding our family. I guess time will tell! Mainly, we are just focusing on what we want Gavin's life to look like as far as education, life experiences....we've been tossing around the idea of homeschooling for a couple of years, until he gets to high school. I think since we've been surrounded by homeschooled kiddos the past 7 years, seen them excel and adjust excellently to public high school--it's inspired us! We still have a couple of years to figure out what we're going to do for his "formal" education, and who knows what will happen between now and then! Since things have changed so drastically for us, we've started thinking out of the box, like, hmmm, ok, now what can we do? Why don't we save up some cash, travel the world for a year, and write about it! The world is such a big place--there is no limit to what we can do if we put our mind to it. We can work while we travel to keep the cash flow going....crushing grapes in France, milking goats for cheese in Italy, nannying in Australia...
SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I HAVE TIME ON MY HANDS? I start dreaming!

Well, I won't have time to blog until we get back in a couple of weeks. Time for me to go to bed and keep dreaming!!

What's going on!

Pictures from the past couple months. There have been a couple times that I have forgotten my camera!!OR it's been hidden because Gavin gets ahold of it and takes his own pictures.
I can't believe it's almost April! Gavin and I are headed to Florida this week to visit Nana, PaPa, and the beach!
Right now we are living with Blake's dad. It's such a transition time for us--thankfully we have a place to stay while we figure out what's going on in our life!!
Who knows where God will lead us? The questions are insane right now and the answers are always "trust me." It' so hard not being in control~right?

Ok, so Blake and I are going out tonight, Gavin is with MaMa and PawPaw for the weekend--time to have to some much needed time together!



Family Pic in the old house...

So, I started this window painting/glazing project when I was pregnant..and I got halfway through and then started the rest of it after we listed the house. Then, the house sold really fast and I didn't have to finish it. I'm pretty sure that reinforces my procrastinating behavior!



More nighttime crazies!


We call this the Uncle Justin hair.

Rockstar hair.



What happens when Gavin takes his own picture, and it happens a lot.

Valentines present.



Who doesn' t love tiedye and plaid together!?

The three amigos at Shogun.



The business professional hair style.

Gavin's first camp trip!




Living with pawpaw!



Mini-road trip to Tulsa to see the amigos!

Moving on!

The house is sold! While I am so thankful not to have a mortgage, I miss our house so much. I don't miss all the stress it caused, but I do miss it being our home. It is just another loss that we have had to endure in a series of losses. Emotional, financial, physical loss. Loss=grief. I wonder what it will be like when we are older and we look back at this period of our life? I know we'll see things from a different perspective than we see them now. When you're in the middle of it all though, it makes you wonder if things are ever going to change!

Closing day was one of the most stressful days we have experienced--I think I aged about 5 years in just a few hours, ha! I wish that things would have been different, but they weren't. It's over, done with, in the past, and now it's time to move on :)

Gavin is getting so big! Potty trained, talking up a storm, being helpful, independent (strong willed goes along with that!) and he's such a great kiddo. We couldn't be more thankful for our little family. He is such a little ham. He LOVES being the center of attention, but he can be shy too. Next time I post, I'll post a bunch of pictures. I love teaching him and seeing his mind work. I get awakened with kisses every morning and by him putting my face in his hands and kissing me, while saying " Mommy, I eat. EAT MOMMY!!" ha!

We are looking forward to whatever good things God has in store for us: Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

The cats have gone on to another home. The first few days without them was hard, but now I am really, really relieved not to have the added responsibility of them tearing up Mike's house!!

It's crazy to be here right now, not knowing where we will live, what our work will be, but we have faith that it's all going to work out. It has so far. That doesn't mean that things are all sunshine and rainbows, but it means that we are growing and learning. Growing pains hurt!