Gavin's second overnight hospital stay!

Oh my word! The last 48 hours have been something else. Gavin's first hospital stay was when he was born... His second one occurred from 7am-2:30pm the next day. He was such a champ through it all and we had hundreds of people praying for him, plus texting support, so I felt quite calm and at peace, but my heart was hurting for my one and only baby!!
He woke up Tuesday morning at 6:30 and I immediately knew there was something wrong. His breathing was so labored, he was puking up mucus, had a fever and his lips started to turn purple. Blake had already left for work, so I threw our clothes on and drove to the hospital. After about 30 minutes of testing and oxygen they said he would be admitted immediately. The only thing he cried about because it was so painful was starting the IV and the RSV nasal test. He didn't even flinch while they drew blood in his sleep, and when he got his flu shot today he didn't even flinch. I was so impressed with how this little 4 year old being could be so patient and brave! Gavin, mommy and daddy are in awe of how tough and resilient you are, and with a smile on your face, a laugh in your throat, a song you bust out singing, and just your overall positive personality to do things even when they're scary or unpleasant. We love you!! You entertained everyone that came in contact with you, calling you such a cutie, and "quite the character." Ok, that was a side track. Ha!
Thankfully he improved greatly and only had to stay one night. Our next steps are getting him allergy  tested again and tested for asthma, which is most likely what he has, we just need to learn triggers.
I can't imagine going through this alone....Blake was so wonderful, the hospital staff was amazingly thorough, and one of my dearest friends, Cindy, helped me get all the info I needed to know, via text while she was busy with work and kids!! There are so many people I want to thank. Most of all, I'm thankful to God for the peace he gave to Blake, Gavin and me through a sudden serious health emergency involving our baby.
Gavin, at 4 years old, you're stronger, braver, more patient, and more of an incredible human being than I am at 32. You're my hero, little buddy.


Pictures soon... I just had to document this while it's still fresh.

Well, it's almost the end of the year!

Can you believe how fast time flies? It's just part of getting older is that our time seems to just slip through the days and to the months and now, to the end of the year! I remember being a kid and the summer lasted SO long and so did Christmas break. Now, as an adult, it all just flies by!
Lots has happened since I last posted! Gavin turned 4!! I just love this age...of course, I think I have said that about every age he has been, ha! He had a great birthday and we had his party on Halloween again. Every time we would go to a house for trick-or-treating he would say "Trick or Treat, it's my birthday!" and he would get extra candy! hah! What a little squirt. He has been doing so well in speech therapy and he works hard when he is in "homeschool." He also loves to work outside--Blake calls him a slavedriver because he won't stop working until he is completely worn out! We're talking hours at a time that he will cut brush, haul it, pick up rocks..he definitely has a good work ethic, but I think for him it's also a way to play (and show off!) Which he likes to do. He's been such a blessing to us, and a wonderful kid. I couldn't ask for a better one!!
Blake's granma Jean passed away about 6 weeks ago. She has been in the nursing home for years and on palative care for a couple of years. Now she is in peace, not suffering and in no more pain. That is a blessing! I wish I would've known her before she was in the nursing home, she sounded like quite the spitfire and a lady before her time. 
Thanksgiving was in Piggott this year, the first time we have spent Thanksgiving there. We usually spend Christmas there, but Blake won't be able to get off of work since Christmas in on a Wednesday this year. So, we'll have a nice, quiet Christmas at home..which reminds me, I need to start decorating...oh wait, our stuff is still in storage! But, we'll try to get it out soon so we can get it all up.
This year has not been easy, in so many ways. I know there is a purpose for it, but I don't know what that is quite yet. I've been able to look back at other years that I wondered "what is the purpose for this" and it's been revealed in time. I know the same will happen for this year.
What kinds of things will be happening in 2014? We have some goals, and some must-do's. Gavin will start Pre-K in the fall of 2014. One of the must do's is I have to get healthy. This year has been plagued with health problems and injury, all of them out of my control. I want 2014 to be a new start for us!!
Pictures to follow soon!!

Updates

Lots have been going on!
Blake: finally has a full-time job again, although his salary is now hourly, and it is a lot less than what he was making. But, hopefully, this will help us get up on our feet again, and I am SO proud of him for sticking it out. It really has been the longest process, and he has been so disrespected by Siloam Springs Hospital. I can't say enough how glad he is officially done with that place. I wish I could tell the management team there how I feel, but it would come off very ugly and un-Christian. ha! In fact, I'd probably get arrested because I would be spray-painting and egging their houses with words that a sailor uses. BUT, we are SO SO thankful that God has him in this new spot. There are unforeseen opportunities that could arise from it. He's also been running a lot and working out and has lost about 25 pounds! We've been eating gluten-free for about a year now, and it seems to be paying off for him and he is feeling so much better.
Fran: Granola has kept me semi-busy, but because I have been so sick this year, I have only make it to about 10 markets. I'm also partnering with an Ebay business to generate income. My main focus though is trying to get healthy and figure out what the heck is going on with my body. Lots of tests have been done, but not enough. Grannie Frannie's Granola is sponsoring my cousin who is hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. From Canada to Mexico!! He has a granola shipment going out this week. I have been planning lots of activities for Gavin's summer. Also, I have been doing research on where we are going to live, move too, etc. Plus, the daily life of a homemaker, which I love, but never ends!! It is hard to fit in 2 jobs, a kiddo's schooling, keeping up with the house, and having me & Blake time.
Gavin: is such a big boy! He is so much fun and he is a really good kid. He is in speech therapy, we call it "homeschool" Which we are pursuing right now, but contemplating if it's time for me to go back to work,for someone else, at least part-time. We have lots of decisions to make!! Gavin has been learning a few languages, spanish, italian..just a few phrases...but it's so cute to see him say, "arrivederci!"
Scroll down to the next post because I published some pics I had uploaded..and here are some more recent pics as well.

Happy 32nd Birthday to me!!

Gavin is so good on his bike!

He loves getting his haircut.

Self-portrait

My new neice!! Dahlia

Dinner party at Uncle JJ's

Happy 10th Anniversary for us!!!!!!

We've been through so much in 10 years. The last 2.5 have been the most difficult. We've gotten through it together, and we'll go through it together!

The best anniversary gift is a sweet little boy!!!

Finally, some pictures!!!

I just realized, I haven't posted any pictures since January. What the hack. I have been so busy, I don't even know where to start. So, I'll start with pictures!

I've been locked out!!

I have been locked out of my blog because I had to do several password changes after getting hacked on email. So, it's been very frustrating but I am here now! Wow, make sure you're verification number or email is correct. When I started the blog, my verification phone number was not the same number I have now. Whew..just glad to get my baby blog back!!
Soon, I will post pictures. Right now, a deep breath of relief to have hacked into my own account!!!

Coming Soon......

I will be adding pictures soon of the G-man. I've got some great ones!!

Vacation and 2013 and musings on life....

We are on a vacation, of sorts. Not the beach, or Italy, or some exotic locale, but still I consider it a vacation. Anything that gets you away from it all, where you relax, read books, go for long walks, lay around and watch movies and TV, I consider a vacation! It's wonderful to be outside and it's 65 degrees in the winter!! Tomorrow it's supposed to get a little bit chiller, but for now, I'm blogging outside and watching Gavin dig in the dirt and play soccer. He's really great about playing by himself. He doesn't need me to constantly entertain him, he never has. He's happy just being outside kicking around a ball, using his imagination with his trucks and wagons. He's definitely into exploring and being independent which is wonderful. It has allowed me to do things that I wouldn't be able to if he constantly demanded to be entertained. I think a lot of children in this era of technology, video games, Ipads and other objects that limit their creativity are growing up without the experience of true childhood. I'm not saying that he never plays with technology, but we definitely limit it. Blake and I both want him to grow up with memories of playing in the dirt, not playing on the computer. He has time for all of that when he gets older. Right now, in fact, he told me he has to do his job. I said, what job is that? He said, I have to load these bricks into my wagon and unload them "over there." ha! That sounds like a great job for a 3 year old little boy to do. He is currently stacking them up into a tower, reloading them, wheeling them around, and finding another location for them.

I'm enjoying catching up on the blog in the sunshine and watching him "work."

Normally for the new year I like to make resolutions. I feel as if the past several years I have undergone a transformation. It's been an emotionally twisted barrel roller coaster for 3 years. Up and Down at every turn. What I have learned from that are these things:

 1)Life will not go as we plan it. (duh!). In fact, planning it is a waste of time. We're telling God that hey, we can handle our lives, we just need You to give us some blessings every now and then and we're good.

 2)God has a plan, even in our darkest days and hours that plan is there--in fact, we're told to rejoice in our suffering because when we do, it brings us closer to God. Now, have I rejoiced always? No! I'm only human. I look at Paul who spent years and years in jail, and yet, he was still able to write to the churches about his love for God, his love for the church and his knowledge that all was going according to plan. Paul's suffering was not even on his mind--the edification of the saints and then spreading of the gospel was!

3)I've learned to cherish moments and people in a deeper way that goes beyond the superficial and into my soul, into my being. The existence I lead no longer carries taking anything for granted, at least that is on the forefront of my mind.

4)People come and go from your life in seasons. When you see glimpses of a person you no longer can trust, it's time to relinquish that relationship. I feel no ill will towards those people, but a relief that the burden of judgement is gone, and the peace that releasing toxic people in your life can bring.

5)You never know what each day will bring, and I'm getting to a place where I am beginning to be ok with that. God teaches me everyday, something new, it could be any of these possibilities: A new perspective, a new lesson, a new way to understand our grief, a new way to change my former thinking, a new way to help someone in need, a glimpse of creativity that needs to be explored, a way to put myself last and others first, a way to show love to someone that needs it, and a way to love myself better and in a more exact way.  

These are just a few musings on my life at the moment. I don't want them coming off holier-then-thou or prideful, because that isn't the purpose. The blessings of having a child, a husband who is not only your best friend but your constant companion and love, and the love of the Lord through all these years is the climax of life at this moment. It's hard to put into words the many gifts God has given me through these transformative years. The battle between my self and faith carries on daily. Like I said before, I'm not perfect, I'm far from it, but I'm willing to admit my pride in the face of God and ask him to continue to mold me through these days.

Now, back to some relaxation time, it is vacation after all.

Oh Dear Gavin.....

You are a dancing fool and I love it. Storytime at the library is about listening, not dancing and showing off. I'm sure the parents had an amazing time watching your breakdance moves and didn't expect a performance, but they got one. You make me laugh when all of a sudden you'll say to me, such as you did at story time, "Mommy, I just gotta dance!" It's your happiness on the inside that makes you dance on the outside. Plus, it helps that you're an extremely talented athlete to do the types of moves you do. I gotta brag on you kiddo...never seen a toddler swing a golf club like you or play soccer like you do. What 2 year old can run 2 miles?! Music is in your genes and in your soul...Dance is...well, not quite in your genes, but apparently your Daddy has been teaching you some things when I am away at Market. You get down and boogie like no other kiddo I have seen!! You have been rocking out since you were an itty bitty thing. It makes us happy to see you so musically inclined, and also so kinesthetically aware. You get that from your daddy too. 

Right now is a magical age for you. You love animals and medical emergencies. You show up with a stethoscope and band aids even when they aren't needed. You say that you want to be a doctor, and then in the next breath you say you want to be a pig. You're convinced we have a farm in the backyard, and you like to have deep conversations about love. You love cake, carrots, milk, black cherry juice, organic food, chicken numnuts, people, Jesus, church, Turtleman, Bigfoot, Spiderman and you can repeat almost every line in the movie Garfield. I wish I could list everything you like!! You also like cash. In fact, if you have a dollar on you, you're convinced you can buy anything, but most of all you just like to have "cash." Grandpa BoBo must be rubbing off on you because he likes cash too :)

You're smart. You don't give up on a puzzle until it's done and when it's done, you can do it again in seconds. You have a way of observing that is just like your daddy, too. Eyes like a hawk. You're inquisitive and you like a real answer. I talk to you like an adult, and you get what I'm saying. I love your intelligence!!!
 
You still sleep with us, most of the time, which means we don't sleep a lot. But we do lot of cuddling. You like the same songs sang to you at bedtime every night and you tell me you want "nunuls" which means snuggles. Daddy and Mommy are your best friends, but then, so is Gracie and Papa, MawMaw and PawPaw, Joe, Jayden and Luke.

Right now little buddy, things are tough. You've had the flu, ear infections, you need tubes and possibly another surgery. Daddy's been sick, mommy is dealing with a chronic illness that has changed life drastically, and our life is not what we pictured it would be at this time in your life. You don't know the difference though. When you were born, we were on top of the world! "Things" may have crumbled underneath us, but you're still our world. You're still the most important person in our life and you always will be. You've taught us so much and continue to do so everyday. We're trying to protect you from what our reality is right now, and to lay a foundation for you that keeps you secure in who you are so that you grow up to be the best you that you can be.

You're stubborn, strong willed, and when you set your mind to something, we can't change it. We let you go with your flow. You have rules and boundaries to follow, but we also give you the opportunity to do what it is that has entered your mind. Your thoughts are your own and your imagination is incredible. So, sometimes, we just have to let you do your thing and figure it out on your own. When you do, and the lightbulb goes off in your brain, WOW, what a beautiful thing that is to see.

We love you forever and ever, to the moon and back........